The first day at day care is looming and it is a scary and challenging prospect for mom and provider alike. But, never fear, I have compiled the First Day Survival Guide for all concerned.

This is a team effort with Mom laying the groundwork by gently preparing the child with talk of how much fun day care will be. The provider can be suggesting role playing at home, perhaps providing mom with names of kids and carers to facilitate that familiarization.

Mom should begin some of the day care routines with the child in the weeks preceding and encourage independence by arranging visits to friends. The provider should insist that mom and child pay numerous visits to the day care in the weeks before the first day so all is not completely strange.

Mom, try and have everything packed and labeled the night before (change of clothes, comfort toys, snacks) and all administrative tasks i.e. payment, forms etc taken care of so you can focus on your child. Have a fun breakfast and chat enthusiastically about the adventure ahead. Providers should have an extra staff member on hand to help with the settling in.

Providers, insist that parents walk their child from the car to the door. Mom, allow your child to pack his own bag. When you get to the day care do not carry him, this will just make the separation all the harder. Hold his hand and walk him to the door.

Providers, your settling in routines are vital and it is crucial you allow mom to be there but not be there. Let the child move at his own pace - be it observing quietly or playing alone. Provide one on one support and be ready when mom leaves to whoosh him away and providing lots of distraction with toys and activities.

Settling in is the time for mom to be there but not be there... Mom should be in the background providing fairly silent support. Allow your child to absorb his new surroundings. Gauge his reactions by stepping out of the room momentarily, explain that you are making a phone call and are just in the hall. Eventually, you will sit in your car or get a coffee as your child settles down. When that time comes say, bye mom will see you later, positively with a quick kiss and leave the room. If your child cries do not look back. They will be distracted and will stop crying shortly.

It is very important to establish this drop off routine from day one. Firm and consistent is key with children. Communication and understanding between parents and providers will make for a smooth and enjoyable transition for the child. Now, moms, enjoy your cup of coffee in peace!!! Providers enjoy your new little personality!