The first day at day care is looming and it is a scary and challenging prospect for mom and provider alike. But, never fear, I have compiled the First Day Survival Guide for all concerned.

This is a team effort with Mom laying the groundwork by gently preparing the child with talk of how much fun day care will be. The provider can be suggesting role playing at home, perhaps providing mom with names of kids and carers to facilitate that familiarization.

Mom should try to foster independence in the weeks preceding with visits to friends and providing activities the child will encounter at the day care and providers should be sure to encourage mom and child to visit the day care a couple of times before starting in order to allow the child to absorb the environment.

Mom should be sure to have everything packed for the day e.g. snacks, change of clothes, comfort toys and ensure everything is labeled. Be sure and have monies paid and forms completed before the big day so you are not distracted by these tasks. Have lots of time to get ready the morning of the big day with a good breakfast and some talk about the great adventure ahead. Carers should have an extra person on hand when a new child is starting so that one person can focus on distracting and comforting the new child. It is also advisable to have the child start at a time when everyone is settled into their morning activities. I wouldn't recommend first thing in the morning when the flurry of activity could be upsetting for the new child.

Allow the child to help pack his bag and carry it. When you arrive at the day care walk your child in holding his hand, do not carry him. Providers should insist on this therefore avoiding the peeling child off the parent scenario.

All day cares should have a settling in period where the child will stay for gradually longer periods of time. Facilitate the moms so they can be around but discourage too much mom involvement. This is where mom needs to take a back seat and observe rather than interact. Provide one on one support for the child. He may just want to sit and observe for a while eventually venturing into a group to participate or play alone with a toy. Let him go at his own pace. When mom leaves, distract him immediately by ushering him off to some exciting activity.

Settling in is the time for mom to be there but not be there... Mom should be in the background providing fairly silent support. Allow your child to absorb his new surroundings. Gauge his reactions by stepping out of the room momentarily, explain that you are making a phone call and are just in the hall. Eventually, you will sit in your car or get a coffee as your child settles down. When that time comes say, bye mom will see you later, positively with a quick kiss and leave the room. If your child cries do not look back. They will be distracted and will stop crying shortly.

It is very important to establish this drop off routine from day one. Firm and consistent is key with children. Communication and understanding between parents and providers will make for a smooth and enjoyable transition for the child. Now, moms, enjoy your cup of coffee in peace!!! Providers enjoy your new little personality!

10 years of running a daycare leaves Fiona Lohrenz with a lot of knowledge to impart. This she does on her website plus on her 'Start a Child Care Business' DVD guide: StartChildCare.com You can find her at her website: ChildCareOnly.com